So often, others will consciously or subconsciously try to shame us into feeling bad about ourselves, our choice(s), our appearance, or any other aspect of our life. The father of my children is REALLY good at dropping the “Shame Ball” at my feet. So often, I could not help but pick it up. I felt bad about myself in so many ways. He plays the victim pretty well – someone should give him an academy award. The other day, he started in on how I basically ruined his life – he didn’t want to get divorced. He was so self-centered (a full blown narcissist) that he could not even see how he had hurt me over the years. He did not notice the change in our relationship. He NEVER thought I would leave him…until I did. The thing about narcissist is that while they seem really confident and full of themselves, they are weak and so self conscious. They have a really difficult time being honest about life experiences and need to blame others, shame others, and be the victim to any and everyone who will listen.
Now he drops shame balls every chance he gets (ugh, “when will it ever end” I ask myself all the time?!?!). I used to carry these balls of shame around with me, feeling bad about what had happened, passing blame, accepting blame, not feeling good enough for anyone or anything in my life. Then I just decided one day, I was going to stop believing his story. I was done picking up the shame he was laying down. I am good enough. I am smart enough. I am pretty enough. I am worthy. I am strong. I am that I am.
When we can stop living in the past, accept that now is all we have, and let the shame game go, we can be whole and get back on our path towards our life purpose. We need to not shame others – lets pick our words carefully. We need to do our best to leave the shame bombs others are dropping – do not give them power because they are lies! Anytime someone brings you down, they are not living at a high frequency – they are so low in power that they need others to be there with them. Only when we decide to not get wrapped up in the shame game, then we are living open and valuing ourselves enough to be who it is we are meant to be.